I am not sure how to write this post but I think that in some ways it will be therapeutic. As most of you know we are expecting our third child. I am 21 weeks today and due November 7th. This past Monday we went in for a routine anatomy ultrasound. (I should say here that this pregnancy has been anything but routine, I have had some bleeding at 13 weeks and lots of back cramps though out) Right away I could tell that this ultrasound was different than the ones that I had with the girls. I thought that maybe I had just lost some of my skill at being able to read them but when the doctor was finished and said that he wanted to see us in his office I knew that nothing good ever comes from meetings with doctors in their offices. The first thing he told us was that the fluid level around the baby was very low and because of that the ultrasound was very difficult to read. Low fluid is bad for a lot of different reasons. It could mean that there is something wrong with the baby's urinary system since at this point in the pregnancy the baby makes the amniotic fluid. It could mean that my membranes were ruptured and that I was leaking fluid and did not know it. This is bad because if the membranes are ruptured then the barrier between the baby and the outside world is broken making infection more of a possibility. The amniotic fluid is important for a lot of reasons. It provides a cushion of protection from the outside world and gives the baby room to move around. It is also responsible for the maturation of the lungs and the digestive system since the baby continually swallows it.
Well if that news was not enough the doctor also told us that the scan showed a possible heart defect as well as some other things that led him to believe that our baby has some kind of chromosome abnormality. Needless to say this was all very hard to digest. We left his office that day with a referral to The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia (CHOP) for a second opinion. We have felt very blessed to live in a part of the country where top hospitals are everywhere.
We went for our second opinion yesterday. I was amazed by the kindness of the people and the advances in technology. They were able to perform a very extensive ultrasound as well as a echo cardiogram (a study of the heart) on the baby. When the tests were done we met with the OB at CHOP. The news was not good. The fluid level was still low and the doctor said that it was due to a hematoma that I had earlier in the pregnancy that was now being broken down by my body. The same things that break down the hematoma are also very hard on the fluid membrane which in time will most likely cause my membranes to rupture and put me into preterm labor. The doctor said in all his years he has never seen a membrane reseal itself and so he did not expect our baby to make it. The good news is that the heart and the other abnormalities that they saw initially seemed fine on the scan done at CHOP. The doctor talked about our options which were few. I could choose to say that this pregnancy was not meant to be and deliver then which to me was out of the question. I have felt this baby move inside of me constantly for the last 5 weeks and his heart is strong. I do not think that I get to decide when his chances for survival are over. The other option is to just wait. Anyone who knows me knows I do not wait well especially when I do not know the outcome of my waiting. I would do anything to give my son the opportunity to live on this earth and to be able to hold him even just once. The thing is that I could go into labor at any time or my body could develop an infection if the membranes are already broken. As for now I am praying that we can make it a few more weeks to give him a real chance at survival but if that is not Heavenly Fathers will then I am praying that our son will be taken home quickly. I would like to ask for your prayers. I know that Heavenly Father loves me and that he has always taken care of me and my family. I am praying for understanding and peace. This experience has given me a whole new understanding on what it means to really be able to submit our will to our Father. There is nothing that I want more than to have another child bless our home and that has been my desire for what seems to me a long time, but if the time is not now then I will have to pray for the understanding and the courage to keep going forward. I do believe that miracles happen. I do know that Heavenly Father can heal my body and allow my son to come to the earth and I pray that that will be the case but if not I pray for understanding and comfort. Thank you to everyone who has already been praying for us. I know that without your faith and prayers we would never have made it this far. I love you all.

Happy Birthday Dad!!!

I thought that I would try to redeem myself for the late birthday cards and lack of a gift with a post dedicated to my Dad. Dad, I really do love and admire you! You have taught me so much about what is really important in life. I remember being so upset with you when I would ask you what I thought was a serious question and you would tell me that "It does not matter." Although that infuriated me at the time I now see just how right you were. Your wisdom never ceases to amaze me. There are many things that I am grateful to you for...
1. You always made me feel special and pretty. It was never easy being 6 feet tall from the time that I was 12 but you always had a way of helping me see past that...even if I do remember the occasional nick name of "Thunder Thighs"
2. You always made time for me and the things that were important to me. I know how busy you were during my high school years with work, church and family responsibilities but I always knew where I stood with you. I will always but grateful (if not a little embarrassed) that you made it to just about every basketball/volleyball game and cheered LOUDLY from the stands.
3. You instilled in me a love of sports. I think that Trevor may be even more grateful than I am for this one. I am glad that your Celtics gave you such a great birthday gift.
4. You showed me how much fun it is to laugh. I love the time that we spent together as a family laughing even if it sometime affected our ability to pray.
5. You taught me how important it is to know who I am. I always knew that you knew who you were. You made no excuses for who you were or what you believed. I knew from an early age that you knew the Savior and that you had a personal relationship with him.
6. You make a tasty smoothie...you really should have jumped on that idea of opening up a smoothie shop...we could have beaten out those Jamba juice people and been rich.
7. You understand and taught me the importance of family. Even though I live all the way across the country you find a way to include me in family things. I love the mornings that you call me on your way to work just to talk. I know how much you want the family to be close and even though we may not be close geographically we are blessed to be closer than most.
8. You showed me how a women should be treated by the way you love Mom. I have never doubted your devotion to your family and especially to Mom. I know that it is in part due to your example that I knew what to look for and was able to find in my husband.

9. You are a fabulous Grandpa. Your grand kids love you and I know that it is because they feel unconditionally loved by you.

10. You helped shape my testimony. You are a great scholar of the gospel but you never let any question that you could not answer shake your faith in what you knew to be true. You instilled in me a love of learning and a love of the scriptures.

Happy Birthday Dad! I wish that I could be there with you to celebrate. I love you bunches and I am so grateful for everything that I enjoy because of you.

Kindergarten Move-up

Well it is hard for me to believe that Emma is a kindergarten graduate. Yesterday they had a nice little ceremony for the kids. I was a little overwhelmed by some of the other parents who brought flowers, balloons and gifts for the little grads. I kept thinking about how my dad would probably react to the whole thing. I still remember how annoyed he was when I had my 8th grade "graduation". It really was a nice morning. The two kindergarten classes sang four really cute songs that they had been working on all year and each child got an award from their teacher. Emma was named the best writer in her class. It was so cute to watch her stand up and get her award but I think that I was even more impressed by how excited she was for all of her classmates to get their awards. Emma has learned so much this past year. She is an amazing reader and she loves to write. She has made great friends and she has learned so much about what she is capable of. We are so pleased with all of her effort. This is Emma with her teacher Ms. McGlynn. She was a great teacher and the only thing that Emma is sad about right now is that Ms. McGlynn won't be her teacher next year.
This is Emma and her friend Sasha. Sasha is also our neighbor and the two girls have become great friends over the last year and they are looking forward to going to the first grade together.

Here is one of the songs from the program. All of the songs were cute but I think that this one was my favorite. Sorry if it is hard to hear and please forgive my shaky hands.

What Trevor does all day...

I have been giving Trevor a hard time about wanting to know what he had been doing at school. The other day he brought a set of dentures home that he had made. After explaining some of what went into making them he decided that he would see if they would fit in his mouth. As you can see from the picture they were a perfect fit. What a handsome fellow I ended up with!

Picture Tag

Here is how it works...
1. Go to www.flickr.com
2. Type in your answer to the question in the "search" box.
3. Use your favorite image of the subject

Birthplace:

Provo Utah, Yes I was a BYU baby.

Vacation Destination

Hawaii

Favorite color(s)
Blues, greens and browns together.

Dream Job

Honestly I have it, being a mom.

Guilty Pleasure

Taking a nap. I would do this above just about anything.

Hobby

Sewing, I would love to have a space like this one someday.

Favorite Restaurant

I would eat Cafe Rio pork salad over just about anything!

Favorite Actress

Reese Witherspoon

Favorite Actor

Will Smith

Favorite Car

Acura MDX

Favorite Place to Shop

Any place that I can find a good deal on something that makes me look good.

Favorite flower

Gerber Daisy's and

Yellow Roses

This was really fun and I tag anyone who has time to waste and wants something fun to do.

Please come back Shayla!!! PRETTY PLEASE!

OK, so you might not want to come back after I posted this picture of you but really you need to come back! I miss you and so do the girls. I promise to feed you and not make you babysit (well at least not too much). I can't pay you but I have air conditioning, really cute kids, and access to a swimming pool. I really don't know what I am going to do without you. You were brave enough to order a cheese steak with cheese whiz on it and thanks to you I have been craving one since you left. Please take my request seriously. Find a job in Philly, of course you would have to stop being so nice or you would never fit in with the customer service here. I miss you and Abby wants me to be sure to tell you to wear your flower shirt when you come back. WE LOVE YOU!

Together Again!

So ignore the "twins" label on the picture, I had to pull this out of a scrapbook but this was taken at the beginning of my sophomore year at BYU. The cute girl with me in the picture is my dear friend Maren. If we had known what that year had in store for us I don't know if our smiles would have been quite that big, but we survived and I think that we are bonded now for life. Fast forward 10 years (Wow I am getting old) and Maren and I are still good friends. We talk on the phone occasionally and we love reading each others blogs. Well she saw that I had visited New York with my sister and she wondered how close it was to Philadelphia because she was surprising her husband for his birthday with a trip to the Big Apple. Well of course I figured out a way to get there (THANK YOU MELISSA) and we had a great time.
We ate at a good BBQ place called Virgils in Time Square. It was so fun to just be able to pick up right where we left off. I don't think that the conversation dragged at all. There is nothing like great friends. (To Megan, Etta, and Amber we really need to get together sometime before I leave the east coast.) Maren, thanks for a fun evening and lets not let another 10 years go by before we do it again!

My first blog entry ever....Everything you wanted to know about me

A- Attached or single: Attached FOR-EV-ER
B- Best Friend: Can it not be my spouse, even though I love her? After thinking about it, I realized I don't really have a best friend. I have lots of good friends, but no best friends, so I guess Tamar is my best friend.
C-Cake or Pie: Both...with ice cream.
D- Day of Choice: Saturday for college football and Sunday for April, June, July and August (The Masters, US Open, British Open and PGA)
E- Essential Item (s): Ice and an Air Conditioner.
F-Favorite Color: Trojan Red and Trojan Gold.
G-Gummy Bears or Worms: Ice cream and root beer.
H- Hometown: The entire United States. We moved around so much...Favorite place is Hayden Lake, ID.
I-Indulgence(s): I am not a girl, so I don't have any.
J- January or July: January because of two words.........Bowl Games.
K-Kids: Tamar would say she has three and a half. I only see two kids with one on the way. I am still trying to find the lost child.
L- Like or Love: Love: I am an extremist. I love my wife and I love the Rose Bowl. I just say love all the time.
M- Marriage Date: Easy...August 4, 2001. The hard question is what color eyes my wife has.
N- Number of Siblings: 3: Heath, Linds and Darbs.
O- Oranges or Apples: Root beer floats.
P- Phobias or Fears: Aren't they the same thing?
Q-Quote(s): "Never play against your opponent, always play against par." Sam Snead
R- Reason To Smile: Kids, family, ice cold root beer on the golf course.
S- Season: March through January: Try and figure that one out. February is just a bad month for sports.
T- Tag Six: Huh? Six what?
U- Unknown Fact About Me: I hate sticky fingers. I hate cleaning the sticks that you roast smores on. I am trying to love my kids even when they have eaten their ice cream with their hands.
V- Vegetarian or Oppressor of Animal: Meat in all it's forms.
W- Worst Habit: picking my nose...everyone does it.
X- X-Rays or Ultrasounds: X-rays- I will be reading them every day. I had better get used to them.
Y- Your Favorite Food: Seriously...a root beer float. I love them.
Z- Zodiac: Have never paid attention. I am not a freak.